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Yes, that’s normally a good rule to follow, since “whom” is for a sentence’s object, but this is a special case. The clause in question is either a salutation that has no subject or object, and so either “whoever” or “whomever” is correct, or it’s a subject clause (a noun phrase, really) with an unnecessary, stylized “to” for the sake of comedic impact, in which case “whoever” would be correct.
That’s just, like, your opinion, man.
I think it’s perfectly sized. No need for change. And the OLED model is noticeably more lightweight than the original LCD model, so the newer one isn’t too heavy.